Do sweat the big stuff?

Photo: Enol on Flickr

My head is spinning from the sermon delivered this morning at my church. It was a beautiful metaphor about bookends. The bookends are:

  1. The Righteousness of Christ
  2. The Power of the Holy Spirit.

Together, they hold together all the books of our life – our homes, our jobs, our relationships, our kids etc. Without the two bookends, all the books will either fall over – at least over time, they will – or we’ll move them around to make them stick but they might not remain in the right sequence or priority. No matter how hard we try, we can’t keep the books of our lives lined up and standing strong without the bookends.

I’m not going to summarize the sermon, though I did find it to be very impactful… but today I wanted to touch on a part of it that got my head spinning: the part about the righteousness of Christ.

We looked at a couple of scriptures, though I don’t know what bible translation they’re from:

“as it is written: ‘None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.’ ” [Romans 3:10-12]

and

“God made Him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for us, so that in him, we might become the righteousness of God.” [ 2 Corinthians 5:21]

So the long and short of it is no human is righteous. No one can be in right standing with God. But God made a way for us through Jesus’ death on the cross. He paid our debts; but not only that: His righteousness is credited to us.

What got my head spinning was the reference to our list of sins. The pastor used the analogy of a ledger book and an accounting angel who went around behind us every day noting down our various sins. The examples used were envy over the material things of others’ like cars and vacations, lying to one’s boss over being late, stealing office supplies like file folders and paper clips and cursing someone for being a nuissance in the neighbourhood. He went on to preach how all these things are not only erased (if that were all we’d be seen merely as blameless) but that we are, in fact, credited with Jesus’ righteousness and we are, therefore, righteous in the sight of God.

I loved this sermon; don’t get me wrong, please… but…

Would this sermon be preached in a Christian church if the list of sins was something other than jealous thoughts, white lies, theft of insignificant proportion or thinking poorly of someone?

What if, instead, the sermon listed bitterness, name calling, kicking the family dog and watching porn? Would it still be preached? Does Jesus’ sacrifice cover that? What if it listed drinking until blacking out, laughing at a homeless prostitute, tax evasion and ignoring your husband? What if it listed excessive speeding, using crystal meth, beating your wife  and molesting your children? What then? Would it still be preached? Would this sermon still be preached if one of the sins on the list was having pre-marital sex? What if one of the sins on the list was having an emotional affair with someone from work? What if one of the sins on the list was adultery?

Would this sermon still be preached in a Christian church if one of the sins on the list was lusting after or having sexual relations with someone of the same gender? Would it be preached?

These questions are obviously intended to raise more questions and some deeper thought.

I’ve heard it said – even by some people I hold a great deal of respect for – that anyone who might commit sins “such as these” (on topics such as adultery, addiction, homosexuality… you know, the BIG sins) were likely not saved, spirit-filled Christians to begin with. I find that mildly presumptuous to say the least.

I have to ask then… what kind of sins do saved, spirit-filled Christians commit and which ones don’t they commit? Which ones does the power of the Holy Spirit keep them from commiting and which ones doesn’t it? See… here’s the thing… If God is capable of renewing us when we receive the Holy Spirit at salvation (or subsequent to salvation during the baptism of the Holy Spirit as some would argue) to the point where we no longer commit the big sins as some might claim, SURELY He is also capable of keeping us from stealing paper clips from the office! Even many non-Christians don’t steal from the office, lie to their boss or envy their neighbour’s new car. If we need a saviour to be our righteousness before God by erasing all the little sins, how much more do we need a saviour to erase all the big things?!

It doesn’t make sense to me that a God who created us… in His image… who gave us free will… who was there when Eve first ate of the fruit… who would love us so much that He would send His Son Jesus to die as a propitiation for our sins… would say, “Don’t sweat the small stuff… I got that covered. But the big stuff… well, you’re on your own for that.”

The Apostle Paul wrote:

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” [2 Corinthians 12: 7-10]

His grace is sufficient for you too.

… but I’m still spinning here…

Amazing Grace: and now a word from our creator

Photo: mtbjohn on Flickr

Sometimes I’m ashamed to call myself a Christian. And it’s not because I’m ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus or my faith in God, but I’m ashamed of the image of Christianity that has been shown to the world. Oftentimes I hear people recount their views on Christianity and what it is to be (in the words of my friend Sarah Bessey) a “happy-clappy Jesus lover” and I feel like my faith has been so completely bastardized by misinformation and false doctrine that everything in my soul feels like screaming out.

It’s not what you think it is!

Today I heard a message from God… directed at me. I’m sure of it. It was as if this morning’s sermon was poured out by God to minister to my heart and confirm everything I’ve been thinking, feeling and trying to explain to those in my life who question the foundation of my faith.

See, I’ve been going through one of the toughest things I’ve ever experienced. One of the biggest struggles I’ve been facing is redefining myself as a single mom, a single Christian and a mid-30′s single woman. I don’t know who I am on my own anymore. To be honest, I’ve never been on my own. I’ve been in 3 long-term relationships back to back since I was 16 with just tiny breaks in between. To make matters worse, I was never particularly good at being in relationships either (read in to that what you will). And the cherry on top is that I came to know my faith while I was married, so I have no idea who I am apart from my marriage.

Sure, I have a bucket list, so to speak… things I want to do in this life… but all my plans for my family centered around my husband’s hopes/wishes/dreams for us. I wanted to go where he wanted to go… I could be happy anywhere with him. What I don’t have now is a dream for myself and my kids apart from him. I don’t know how to behave each day when I get up in the morning.

So I’m a little lost.

In my lost state and my efforts to redefine myself, I have reverted back to some old behaviours that are less-than-healthy by most standards and certainly sinful by God’s standards… and when I say reverted back I mean more like I’ve embraced my failure to some extent and am kind of wallowing in it… enjoying my sin if you will. My faith life has taken a beating as I’ve struggled to pick up my bible in months and have barely been able to eek out a prayer other than “God, anything you want me to do you’re going to have to do through me, because I’m pretty helpless at the moment.”

I’ve never felt so far from Jesus yet so uplifted by his grace in all my life.

I’ve had several conversations with friends recently about this stuff and I keep coming back to the same point: I never earned my salvation to begin with and I sure can’t work to keep it. God knows me and my faults, my habits and hangups… he created me. He loves me. Just as I am. No matter what. And forever.

Today’s message was a giant confirmation for me that what I’m feeling is indeed spirit-inspired.

The Revelation

I once had a revelation during a group prayer time before a Sunday morning service. It was so sudden and so clear I told the whole congregation during the worship service: God showed me a picture of a clay jar full of cracks and holes… falling apart, barely held together. From all the cracks and holes came a radiant light. This is us. This is the body of Christian believers. This is the potential for humanity… the more cracks and holes we have the more the light of Jesus can shine out of us. The more broken we are, the more opportunity for God to show himself to the world.

If we were perfect, what would we need God for?

The Message

The sermon today was titled “The Treasure Within”. The main point was from 2 Corinthians 4:7 – “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.”

It was about the broken clay jar.

“Spiritual growth is not a straight journey from weakness to power… but a journey in both weakness and power. (…) We all see things in our life that show us how far short we fall from the ideals of holiness and the ideals of wholeness (…) It’s at times like that we need to embrace again the gospel of grace.”

“We’re fallible. We’re human. (…) God will use each one of us to do remarkable things. (…) There’s no place for pride; there’s no place for self-reliance if you understand the treasure in the earthen vessel – that we must understand our limitations. (…) We must not be surprised by our own failures. (…) God will use every failure … and he will bring out of that new growth.”

“Four areas of concern…

1) Applauded temptations/addictions: Not all temptations prickle with danger… some things look very virtuous: perfectionism… how legal we become. Workaholism… busyness… The greatest sin is not your failure, it’s your presumption that we can succeed without full dependency on Christ. Our goal is maturity, not perfectionism… God is more interested in your love than your perfectionism.

2) Inconsistency in reading scripture and prayer: Inspiration and enthusiasm wear out… take your hands off yourself, submit yourself to the Lord. It’s not a matter of willpower. That will always run short… what it is, is embracing the power of a vision… who God is calling us to be in Christ Jesus. There will be frequent lapses… half the time we’re just plain lazy… Just offer yourself to the Lord. “Lord, this is what I am unless you help me.”

3) Comparing ourselves to others: One of the most common tendencies is to idealize other peoples’ experience… we may think they don’t have any problems… God is never in a hurry. He’s at work in you… if things don’t seem to be happening fast for you, you’re normal.

4) Looking for a zap rather than knowing Christ in a greater way: Many people crave for revival… that’s not my purpose. My purpose is to know him better… growth is slow and steady.”

“How God uses our imperfections…

Our imperfection discloses our helplessness apart from the Lord… God uses our imperfections to cultivate an honourable humility… there’s no room for any kind of pride. God shows us our limits through our failure… an honourable humility, which often the church lacks… there’s nothing about the vessel for us to be bragging about. God uses our imperfections (…) to stimulate my patience and gentleness with others… people carry a lot of loads… our imperfections drive us in to the arms of grace.”

“Through the cracks, people can see the treasure.”

[Download the full sermon: Pastor Owen Scott - Lynn Valley Full Gospel Church]

Closing Thoughts

If anyone who professes to be a Christian claims to be without sin I’m calling them out right now. They’re lying.

Christians flip the bird at other drivers. Christians drink too much. Christians use drugs. Christians use foul language. Christians lust, watch porn and have affairs. Christians lie and cheat. Christians hold grudges. Christians can be downright mean… I could go on… and on… and on…

I believe with all my heart that God just wants me to be honest with him about where I’m at. That’s it. The moment I try to hide myself is the moment my faith begins to crumble. But even in my failures and my weakness, as long as I’m continuing in my communion with God in an honest way, he will be near.

And I can still see his works in my life.

I can see his love poured out on me when I needed help most. I can see how God prepared my heart and my household for Dave’s death. I can see answers to my prayers – even if they’re few and far between. I can see my life moving towards the direction I’m destined for. I can see people blessed by me and TRUST ME… it’s not because of anything I do.

I’m involved in ministry and considered stepping away from service because of how I’ve been behaving lately… but one morning last week I sat down and just started to praise God. He IS still God, after all. And I heard his voice… “Don’t stop praising.”

God moves in mysterious ways… but no one will be without sin in this lifetime. Grace was made for lives like ours… and God is still God.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Phillipians 1:6

Music for a Hurting World

Photo: bigoneep on Flickr

Photo: bigoneep on Flickr

Music is slowly taking over a larger and larger portion of my life… and I couldn’t be happier. It does leave me less time to blog and share my thoughts, but it’s helping me to put things in a more natural order in my life.

I’ve shared before about my thoughts on music – the serenity it brings – so I’m absolutely thrilled to be a part of a new R&B/Soul Gospel band that is going to be doing some super fun music. I’ll share more about it once it’s a little more public I think, but it is an absolute pleasure to be able to spend 3+ hours once a week making music with this talented bunch… this in addition to my time spent with the Lynn Valley Black Bear Band and my monthly weekend for leading worship at my church.

I’m also really excited to be going to some great events in the near future:

Third Day – May 9th

Multi-platinum-selling, Grammy-winning Third Day will be at the Abbotsford Centre at 7pm on May 9th.

Here’s the video from their latest release “Revelation”

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPniMv6te64

I have been a fan for almost as long as I’ve been a fan of Jesus.

Unite In Worship Conference – May 22/23

On May 22nd and 23rd, I’ll be at Willingdon Church for the Unite In Worship Vancouver 2009 conference to hear some amazing speakers and worship leaders and learn more about worship ministry. Brian Doerksen and Bluetree will be highlights for me, but sessions I plan to attend include:

  • Vocal Skills – Speaker TBA
  • Creating a Culture of Invitation – Ian Campbell
  • Corporate Worship: God and Us – Donna Dinsmore
  • Becoming a Songwriter who Serves the Church – Brian Doerksen
  • Eggshells No More – Paddy Ducklow

The conference opens up with Bluetree – a band that came to my attention thanks to my friend Andrew. Here, Aaron Boyd of Bluetree explains the story behind their hit song God of This City:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXh_tgjnYJw

This song is touching, but the story of how it came about is even more so.

Creation Northwest – July 22-25

Creation Northwest ’09 takes place July 22nd to 25th at The Gorge Amphitheatre in Washington. I have wanted to go to Creation Fest since I became a Christian 4 years ago. It’s a multi-day outdoor music festival featuring the best Christian artists in the world plus speaker sessions and, of course, camping.

I’m still waiting to hear back from some friends about who may wish to join me, but I’ll be going regardless.

Music for a Hurting World

I’ve had a lot of really deep conversations with people lately. I guess that’s another reason I haven’t taken much time to blog. The truth of the matter is there are people out there who are hurting… I have been hurting. Things are not always easy. In fact, they’re usually NOT easy. People have such misconceptions about what it is to have faith in Jesus Christ… to be a Christian. It doesn’t make you perfect and it doesn’t make things easy. Sometimes, it actually makes things harder.

I have friends – Christian and non-Christian – who suffer or have suffered through some horrible situations: addictions, infidelity, suicidal thoughts, divorce, depression, abuse, even coming out as gay to a wave of condemnation from those who claim to love them… to all my friends who have ever put their faith in God. Here’s a song that hits right to the heart of it:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BkN-4NYQj0

I hope you have a listen; the message is for you.

An Army of Prayer Warriors

childhood-friend-wedding-dayMy long-time childhood girlfriend got married today. She met her husband last fall. They began dating some time in December… he proposed on February 13th and they got married today – one month later.

When you know, you know.

This was one of the most unique weddings I’ve ever seen. I suppose it wasn’t unique to your average Orthodox Jew, but as a common gentile, I sure had never seen a wedding like it before.

Last night was a planned girls’ night before the wedding, but certain formalities were to be included. Both the bride and groom had to participate in ritual baths and fasting from sundown the night before, so we shoveled in some dinner together before the sun dipped below the horizon and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening engaged in some serious girl talk.

We finally called it a night around midnight because the wedding was scheduled for roughly 8am the next morning. We got up about 5am and proceeded to primp and prep and get ourselves dressed in our modest but stylish ensembles. All of us gals are married, so we had some fun deciding what hats to wear – married women are to cover their hair. And while I did have a really good time trying on every hat for sale on the North Shore, my favourite preparation was squeezing myself into panty hose for the first time in a zillion years… ack, those are awful.

An army of young men arrived with two Rabbis about 7:15am to pray over the wedding for about half an hour or more. There was something touching about that. I know it’s ritual, but there’s something special about knowing the people around you and your community are coming together in prayer to bless their marriage. Marriages should be honoured so much more than they are in our society.

happy-familyThe wedding was really quiet – but I think I did a really good job of standing still and saying nothing. That doesn’t really come naturally to me, so I did feel a hint of pride at my own accomplishment. The prayer warriors held up the chuppah – the marriage canopy – under which the groom gave the bride a ring and her silence indicated no objections. There was a signing of the marriage contract, some more blessings, some ceremonial hand washing, breaking of bread and again more prayers.

In the end someone who means a great deal to me is moving on to share her life with a wonderful man who makes her happy, loves her as she deserves and makes a great dad to her adopted two year old son. I couldn’t be more happy for her… or for him.

Today is the first day of the rest of their life together, and I wish them the very best this life has to offer – love, laughter, peace and joy and many many years of blessings to come.

Mazel Tov!

Bloggers Without Boundaries Indeed

Photo: Spartan Soldier on Flickr

I just read a post by Darren Rowse over at ProBlogger that had my skin crawling and made me feel very uncomfortable. Darren put into words that which I have never had the nerve to say in either spoken word or type. He described me as he spoke of the early hours of Sunday morning:

“…you wander over to your computer, check your blog for comments, check your subscriber and traffic stats and maybe crank out a quick post or video. Then, you jump on twitter to check your timeline, follower numbers and reply to any @’s or dm’s.

A few minutes later, the kids wander out and your day really begins. Breakfast, then the day’s activities. It’s all great fun, yet, you still find yourself reveling in those random moments in the rest-room, where you linger a few extra seconds to check your e-mail, IM, twitter and stats once more on your trusty iPhone.” [Bloggers Without Boundaries]

Well. Ouch.

I find myself looking inwardly and feeling convinced of two things: 1) That I’m abiding in the gratification I get from engaging with a huge group of people on a regular basis and 2) that Darren might just have a hidden camera in my bathroom. Both are equal cause for concern.

The Sermon That Hit Home

This morning I was listening to a fantastic sermon that I am going to transcribe – as soon as I have enough time in the bathroom I guess – and put here. It was really impactful and it confirmed everything I’ve been thinking, fearing and worrying about: this imbalance and loss of boundary between work and play.

Today’s sermon was on The Secret of Soul Rest, based in Matthew 11:28-30

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [ESV from bible.com]

… and John 15:5 (well, I’m adding verse 4 here too)

4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
[ESV from bible.com]

The thing that my pastor kept nailing home for me was that if you’re not abiding in Jesus, you’re abiding in something else. There is no other way. You live somewhere. You benefit from something. You gain from something… what are you benefiting from? Where are you putting your focus? Your energy? Your love? And how’s that working for you?

We numb our fears, our discontentment, the unfulfilled parts of ourselves with addictions… “other lovers” as my pastor put it. True. The list of addictions is so long… drink, food, drugs, sex, sports, porn, perfectionism, money, status, position, blog subscribers or twitter followers, studying, church, ministry even. Getting our sense of wellbeing, no matter how temporary or false, from the wrong stuff. Getting our egos stroked somewhere… most of which is unhealthy and causes unnecessary anxiety or busy-ness in our lives. All things that do not glorify God.

It pains me to think I’ll lose blog subscribers for even writing this.

Photo: parl on Flickr

Photo: parl on Flickr

I think about all the plans I have regarding my blog, my writing, my ability to market myself as a consultant or contractor and my reasons for doing so… and the reason is good: by the time my son starts school, I want to be 100% self-employed and working only during school hours or after my son is asleep at night while earning enough money to support my family. But in the meantime, my drive for this is taking away from my relationships with my family… it’s taking away from my relationship with God.

I’ve been abiding in the wrong stuff.

I’m not sure what this means for the future of my blog. I’m not sure what this means for my pet project: Urban Shore. I’m not sure what this means for the other projects I’ve been offered ‘on the side’ because I’ve come to realise there is no ‘side’; there are only 24 hours to every day.

God is right now bringing me to a place where I have to accept that I’m not in control of any of it. I’m in a place where all I can do is get on my face and pray… because I have no idea what the future holds. I’m not sure how life may change in the days and weeks ahead and honestly, I’m really at a place where I’m open to anything…

What I do know, though, is wherever I end up, I want to abide in my faith. I want to abide in the Love of God. I want to abide in the Word. That’s where the soul rest is.

Everything else is noise.

The Sweet Sound of Serenity

Photo: just.K on Flickr

Photo: just.K on Flickr

I’ve been noticing more and more how music is a unique and vital part of my life. It’s what moves me, what relaxes me, what compels me and what frees me from the world around me.

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was little I’d wake up to my dad playing beautiful classical or big band jazz on his stereo; he had a giant record collection. Sometimes he would play the radio, but whatever was on added something that warmed our home and all of us in it. That’s actually one of my fondest memories of my childhood: waking up to my dad’s music and seeing him sitting at the dining table, grading papers or writing report cards.

I started playing piano when I was 6. I always grumbled about practicing, but I loved playing duets with my brother and my friend Sarah, with whom I took lessons. The first pop music I remember was the release of Michael Jackson’s Thriller album in 1983 – I was 8. Around 10 years old I was firmly enjoying the Mini-Pops, my friend’s parents’ ABBA albums and playing air guitar with the neighbourhood boys. It was also at that age that I started playing the trumpet in the school band.

Photo: papalars on Flickr

Photo: papalars on Flickr

In high school I discovered my talent for singing but was way too shy to use it. I did a couple of musical productions and sung in a few school talent shows and whatnot; but mostly I stuck to my trumpet and various bands I was a part of. I played in school concert band, jazz band, orchestra, and a community band… at one point I played in all 4 at the same time. I was never a particularly great trumpet player but loved it anyway. I still didn’t enjoy practicing much – probably because the sound of a trumpet alone didn’t move me… but when I played with a full band that was when the music would awaken something in me.

I still play now.

The thing I’ve noticed about music is that it calms me in the midst of life’s turmoil, deadlines, busy-ness, and stress. It is physically impossible for me to think about other things while I play. I’m thinking about sound, tuning, the notes, the rhythm, the dynamics, the emotion… I can’t think about my work, my worries. I can’t think about my shortcomings or my failures, my insecurities or even my hopes and dreams. It’s just me and the music right there in that moment: the sweet sound of serenity.

Music has become my escape. It’s the only time I can truly turn off all the other thoughts that swirl around my head constantly. For that couple of hours every Monday night when I rehearse with my band it’s like the world fades away and I get to recharge. During those precious times when we play for an audience the expectation challenges me, awakens me, thrills me.

It’s the same, incidentally, when I sing at my church. In that moment, I feel like I was created to make music. Nothing more, nothing less. And lately I’ve been feeling a calling to write. I feel like there are songs inside of me that someone needs to hear… like a message to someone I don’t yet know.

Photo: kayugee on Flickr

Photo: kayugee on Flickr

I am so moved when people play a beautiful melody or sing with passion; it’s like you can see their soul… like you can hear it. Like parts of them are stripped away and all that’s left is the heart and their intentions. Even when I was very young I found myself crushing on boys who played beautiful solos because in that short span of time, they were just their authentic selves. And while at this point in my life I’ve long passed the adolescent homonal rampages, the beauty of that glimpse into a person’s soul hasn’t faded for me. It’s still something I cherish. I see it in my brother, whose gentleness emerges in the sound of his trombone; I see it in the faces of my musician friends when they play from the heart.

It’s a part of every musician… and it’s very special.

Two Jehovah’s Witnesses, a Catholic and an Anglican walk into a concert hall…

blmurch on Flickr

Photo: blmurch on Flickr

Every now and again I spend time sitting around singing… I know, it probably sounds nerdy. Just about everything I do probably is. I download new songs from iTunes, search YouTube to pre-listen before buying, go through songs I already have etc. Tonight I spent the evening rejuvenating my spirit doing just that. I’m so incredibly moved by music and moved by creating music, that it really is a part of who I am and I couldn’t live without it.

My band is playing a concert on December 1st at the Kay Meek Centre in West Vancouver and I’m going to sing this year. It’s been a long time since I sang anywhere out side of church and I’m struggling with song choice… hey, isn’t that what they always say on American Idol? It’s all about song choice… Anyway, back to the concert. See, it’s a “Winter Concert” and not a “Christmas Concert”. Because there are a number of different religions and many non-religious people in the band, it wouldn’t be fair to have a Christmas concert. So we’ll be playing a few Christmas tunes with other random stuff – show tunes and the like – thrown in.

Personally, I like to think of this concert as a Christmas concert, and clearly Christmas songs are not forbidden, but my family is a whole blend of various religions and I don’t want to offend. My mom is an atheist and my dad a lapsed Anglican turned mason; my mother in law is Roman Catholic and my brother and sister in law are Jehovah’s Witnesses. And I’m a born again Christian – the crazy Jesus-freak kind. Yeah, I said it.

Christmas to me means the real deal – the birth of Christ – but my biggest fear is that I’ll sing my heart out to an audience only to find stunned silence at the end, or worse, a mediocre smattering of claps.

Anyway, I’ve short listed 3 songs:

I guess I feel like I’m selling out by considering Grown Up Christmas List… I mean, it’s a nice song, but one that speaks to the Santa crowd. It is heartfelt and touches the part of each human that wants world peace but still never seems to reach a passionate climax. It’s not that I think there’s anything really wrong with Santa (and world peace is, of course great), but there’s no Jesus in it… which is, in my humble opinion, what Christmas is all about. Not that this is a Christmas concert.

So I’m still undecided at this point. If you’ve read this far and know any of these songs (or had a chance to click the links and listen to them), please feel free to give me your opinion. I’m open to any and all suggestions at this point. In fact, I may just get cold feet and call the whole thing off haha… I’ve been known to do that *blush*.

Anyway, on an unrelated note… I came across an old favourite that had me bawling my eyes out by the end of it: Martina McBride’s Concrete Angel. It’s not a Christmas song, and it’s not appropriate for this concert (or any other if it will make me bawl and my nose run while singing it haha!) but it’s beautiful and always reminds me of the sadness that is interspersed throughout the faces of this world… I’ve known many who have been touched. Hope it moves you as much as it does me:

Operation Christmas Child

I heard about Operation Christmas Child a couple of years ago, but didn’t really understand what it was about. It wasn’t until yesterday whe I saw their promotional video in my church service, that I truly understood their mandate and needs. This video touched my heart:

Operation Christmas Child, a ministry of Samaritan’s Purse, got its start 18 years ago and became a part of Samaritan’s Purse in 1993. Since then, it has been responsible for delivering 60 million shoe box gifts filled with toys, school supplies and hygiene items, to children in over 100 countries.

Operation Christmas Child brings joy and hope to children in desperate situations around the world through gift-filled shoe boxes and the message of God’s unconditional love. Anyone can participate in this simple, hands-on project.

Last season, 661,530 shoe boxes from Canada were collected and distributed to children in more than 15 countries. Each gift is a special reminder to a child that he or she is loved. Delivered by teams of local pastors, charities, and civic leaders, Operation Christmas Child gifts provide opportunities to make a lasting impact on children, families and communities. Often, the shoe boxes open doors to provide other aid, allowing Samaritan’s Purse to provide resources for a better tomorrow.

Packing a box is easy. You just need a box, an assortment of items like toothbrushes, soap, hard candy, note pads, crayons, pens, books, and toys, and a donation of $7 cash to cover the costs to deliver it. All in you can pack quite a nice box for about $20.

Then, you can drop off the box at any number of Operation Christmas Child shoe box drop-off locations near you including Safeway stores and Greyhound depots.

Do something this Christmas that shows the true spirit of the holiday and make one child very happy.

EDIT: For those not in Canada, here are some other Samaritan’s Purse links: Australia, The United Kingdom, The United States, Germany & Austria.

Halloween in the life of a Christian mom

YAXZONE on Flickr

Photo: YAXZONE on Flickr

Halloween is one of those things I’ve been thinking about disproportionately since even before my son was born. It’s one of those holidays/days/celebrations – not even really sure what to call it – that kids love and that the world seems to truly embrace. Honestly, when I was a kid I didn’t care about the history of it, the dangers of it, the distaste of it, the future of it, or the results from it. All I wanted was to go out with my friends (and before that, with my parents) and get a bag of candy.

Here’s a little detail on Halloween from Wikipedia:

The ancient Gaels believed that on October 31, now known as Halloween, the boundary between the alive and the deceased dissolved, and the dead become dangerous for the living by causing problems such as sickness or damaged crops. The festivals would frequently involve bonfires, into which bones of slaughtered livestock were thrown. Costumes and masks were also worn at the festivals in an attempt to mimic the evil spirits or placate them.

Now, I know there is a little Christian history thrown in there, but it’s really convoluted and comes, I believe, from the catholic leaders failure to hold fast to their beliefs and to the Word of God (but, pardon, that’s fodder for a whole other post).

Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints’ Day from May 13 (…) to November 1. (…) Although All Saints’ Day is now considered to occur one day after Halloween, the two holidays were, at that time, celebrated on the same day. Liturgically, the Church traditionally celebrated that day as the Vigil of All Saints, and, until 1970, a day of fasting as well. Like other vigils, it was celebrated on the previous day if it fell on a Sunday, although secular celebrations of the holiday remained on the 31st. The Vigil was suppressed in 1955, but was later restored in the post-Vatican II calendar.

As a Christian mom I fight with this entire principle and really don’t know how to proceed. With a small child, I’m setting the foundation now for years to come, so I don’t really want to get this wrong. But the truth is, I don’t like Halloween. I don’t want to participate. I don’t want my son participating. I don’t feel that Halloween has a single positive aspect or outcome. Not only that but as kids get older, Halloween is used more and more for mischief, occult practices and, quite frankly, an excuse to dress like a whore. It never ceases to amaze me that girls feel the need to make Halloween an occasion to bring that cat suit or naughty nurse costume out to the world. What is with that?! Just have a look at all the Flickr photos tagged halloween; I really don’t see a whole lot there I could even remotely consider glorifying to God.

However, I also know the feeling of being ostracized as a child and feeling the burden of being the outsider – it’s a very lonely place to be. I don’t want that for my son. Even last year, when he was precisely 19 months old, his daycare was having all the kids show up in costumes and handing out treats. REALLY?!

So here I am again, faced with the same challenge and I finally succumbed to the decision to buy him a costume. We went to the store yesterday and as soon as we got to the Halloween aisle he stopped and shuddered and said, “Scary!” But to my surprise and relief there was a little size 3 frog costume that is basically just a green jumpsuit with a frog face on the hood. Just 5 minutes earlier he had been pretending to be a frog in the store anyway, so that seemed just right. I also bought a little treat bucket and a bag of peanut-free coffee crisp bars for the daycare kids. At least now he can join in with the kids at daycare.

Some of my friends take a much stronger stance on this issue. I know quite a few families at my church refuse to have anything to do with it; they may even pull their children from school that day. I hear they also throw a family pool party or some other gathering to ensure their kids have something else to do that is fun and much more wholesome. I think that is a great alternative to participation in regular halloween activities and I hope we’ll be invited to participate.

But anyway, as for the daycare halloween party, I’ve made my decision. Now if only I can figure out how to handle the trick-or-treating issue…

Lost in busy-ness

extranoise on Flickr

Photo: extranoise on Flickr

This week, being Thanksgiving and a short work week, was super busy. Not only that, but I didn’t even get to doing half of what I’d hoped to do.

Election Tuesday

My cold has still been kicking my behind, particularly at night – I’m still coughing like crazy (it’s all very attractive), and so I didn’t go to my kickboxing class Tuesday evening. Instead, I left work early to cast my vote and then went for a walk around my neighborhood to take photos for Urban Shore. I then after mini-man was in bed, I watched the Canadian election results to find that we have managed to elect pretty much the same government we did last time.

Fellowship Wednesday

Wednesday after work, big-man and I went to a home church group for our Passport – Life in the Kingdom study we’ve been doing. It was really nice to get into a small group again; it’s been a long time since we’ve participated in one. I’m reminded of how important fellowship is to a Christian’s spiritual journey. Just hanging out with other believers is super encouraging and I’m always surprised (though really I shouldn’t be) to find out everyone is just as messed up as we are.

Social Thursday

Thursday after work I attended Ideas On Tap at the Yaletown Brew Pub. It was very loud and crowded. I’ve become quite the home body myself, opting to spend time in more intimate settings whenever possible. It was decent, though. I met a few nice people and had a chance to chat again with some people I’ve come to know over the last few months. It was interesting hearing what everyone is working on, but I’m still shocked at how many technology folks are developing tools because they can and pitching them to business rather than taking a business problem and solving it first. Their way means they first have to convince the business owner/manager that they have a problem and then show them how they can solve it; the latter just means they present a solution to a problem everyone already recognizes… way easier. But anyway, it was pretty fun. I might not go every month, but I could go again.

TGI Friday

Today at work I had a great day. I had a nice meeting with my rep from Canwest about integrating more online advertising into my TV and print mix; spent a bunch of time working with my other team members on a huge presentation regarding the bottled vs. tap water debate; and reviewed a bunch of ideas for mobile marketing and mobile web development that I’m working on. It was, well, a Friday… and fairly relaxed today. I did, however, get to hear all about my boss’ trip to India to participate in Habitat for Humanity. He just got back yesterday and his stories were pretty mind-blowing. He told of a class system very much alive and well and children playing in sewage. I would have had a very hard time with that, I admit.

I’m glad it’s the weekend. I can get on with some more blogging; I am leading worship at my church this weekend (and, thus, a rehearsal Saturday and 6 hours of church on Sunday) and get to spend time with my family. It seems life keeps getting busier and busier. As it does, it’s important to spend time on the people that matter most.