Lost in busy-ness

extranoise on Flickr

Photo: extranoise on Flickr

This week, being Thanksgiving and a short work week, was super busy. Not only that, but I didn’t even get to doing half of what I’d hoped to do.

Election Tuesday

My cold has still been kicking my behind, particularly at night – I’m still coughing like crazy (it’s all very attractive), and so I didn’t go to my kickboxing class Tuesday evening. Instead, I left work early to cast my vote and then went for a walk around my neighborhood to take photos for Urban Shore. I then after mini-man was in bed, I watched the Canadian election results to find that we have managed to elect pretty much the same government we did last time.

Fellowship Wednesday

Wednesday after work, big-man and I went to a home church group for our Passport – Life in the Kingdom study we’ve been doing. It was really nice to get into a small group again; it’s been a long time since we’ve participated in one. I’m reminded of how important fellowship is to a Christian’s spiritual journey. Just hanging out with other believers is super encouraging and I’m always surprised (though really I shouldn’t be) to find out everyone is just as messed up as we are.

Social Thursday

Thursday after work I attended Ideas On Tap at the Yaletown Brew Pub. It was very loud and crowded. I’ve become quite the home body myself, opting to spend time in more intimate settings whenever possible. It was decent, though. I met a few nice people and had a chance to chat again with some people I’ve come to know over the last few months. It was interesting hearing what everyone is working on, but I’m still shocked at how many technology folks are developing tools because they can and pitching them to business rather than taking a business problem and solving it first. Their way means they first have to convince the business owner/manager that they have a problem and then show them how they can solve it; the latter just means they present a solution to a problem everyone already recognizes… way easier. But anyway, it was pretty fun. I might not go every month, but I could go again.

TGI Friday

Today at work I had a great day. I had a nice meeting with my rep from Canwest about integrating more online advertising into my TV and print mix; spent a bunch of time working with my other team members on a huge presentation regarding the bottled vs. tap water debate; and reviewed a bunch of ideas for mobile marketing and mobile web development that I’m working on. It was, well, a Friday… and fairly relaxed today. I did, however, get to hear all about my boss’ trip to India to participate in Habitat for Humanity. He just got back yesterday and his stories were pretty mind-blowing. He told of a class system very much alive and well and children playing in sewage. I would have had a very hard time with that, I admit.

I’m glad it’s the weekend. I can get on with some more blogging; I am leading worship at my church this weekend (and, thus, a rehearsal Saturday and 6 hours of church on Sunday) and get to spend time with my family. It seems life keeps getting busier and busier. As it does, it’s important to spend time on the people that matter most.

Gratitude: a moment of reflection

mysza831 on Flickr

Photo: mysza831 on Flickr

This weekend presents one of the most interesting Thanksgiving weekends for me probably ever. I’ve been in tough spots before, but the current global economic situation coupled with my husband having recently been laid off (because the banks have pulled funding for real estate high rise construction), leaves me really contemplating what I am thankful for this year.

Firstly, I’m thankful that there is a God, and He’s the God who created heaven and earth. The God who sent His Son to die for me.

I’m thankful for my family. I’m thankful for my husband – a man with the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. A man who would move heaven and earth for his family if he needed to. A man who loves me despite my shortcomings. A man who has been through many challenging situations in this life and who has pulled himself up out of the muck and made something wonderful.

I’m thankful for my beautiful son. I’m grateful every day that God let us keep him in that very dark moment when he was just 5 weeks old – a moment forever burned in my memory. I’m thankful for every moment I’ve had to spend with him and everything he’s taught me about me and about humanity.

I’m thankful for my parents who will always be my parents, even without a biological tie.

I’m thankful for my mother in law, who has built a special bond with my son, and without whom my life would be very different.

I’m thankful for my home. As much as I complain about how little space we have, I’m thankful that I can live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I’m thankful that we have a roof over our heads and that our son has his own room. I’m thankful that we have extras like TV and internet and phone service. I’m thankful that we have clean running water and enough food.

I’m thankful for my brother and sister-in-law, my other sister-in-law and my biological half sister and grandmother. I’m thankful for my friends, who care enough to share their lives with me.

I’m thankful for my job. I’m thankful that Della and Stuart McLaughlin, owners of Grouse Mountain, have allowed me to continue to learn and flourish and grow and contribute and help in some small way to continue to evolve this amazing thing they have worked so hard to build. I’m thankful that they’ve taken so many chances on me and that I’ve come through it all with a better understanding of myself, my skills, my talents and abilities, my likes and dislikes and my value as a professional.

No matter what happens… I’m blessed beyond belief. It’s my prayer that I would never forget that.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Life In The Kingdom Starts Now

This weekend has me filled with a renewed excitement about my faith, my church, my life and my ability to relax in the middle of the craziness. Tomorrow marks the launch of a ten week series on Life In the Kingdom that will include Sunday sermons, a book study and weekly small groups. I’m hopeful this shift of focus will help put my faith right back in the centre of my life where it belongs and that I’ll gain valuable insight and inspiration to live it out every day no matter what my environment or circumstance.

Today is a day of preparation for the upcoming 10 weeks. It’s a day of prayer and fasting and I also have the privilege of being a part of the worship team that will be leading our congregation tomorrow, so today we get to rehearse, which is just a big bonus for me. This morning’s biggest challenge was getting up and not pounding a giant mug of coffee with cream and sugar – probably my biggest vise. Instead I’ve opted to get through the day drinking herbal tea. I was surprised how relaxed I was about it… I’m usually just mean when I don’t have my coffee, but I guess God’s in the house ;)

It seems the last few months have seen me get busier and busier as I delve into some areas of exploration in my life. It’s good to take a step back and spend some time focused on what really matters. I’m grateful for the opportunity.

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Sweet Serenity

Big-man has taken mini-man on his first guys weekend. They’ve gone with a friend of ours and his two boys camping at Cultus Lake. Big-man is much braver than I; the thought of taking a not-quite-two-an-a-half year old camping for 3 nights scares the you-know-what out of me. It sounds like WAY more work than I’m interested in taking on, but then I’ve always been a little on the selfish side.

While they’re off galavanting around the lake, the woods and the water slides, I get a weekend to relax and recharge my mommy batteries.

Today is Friday evening and I have enjoyed sitting to watch the evening news while eating take-out sushi (the sushi isn’t unusual, but the news is – big-man can’t stand watching anything to do with what’s going on outside our apartment… I have yet to figure out why that is). I have also completely cleaned up and re-arranged mini-man’s room, gotten rid of a garbage bag full of my old clothes, cleaned and moved a few large toys that I’ll take to a friend this weekend, and listened to Hillsong United with Brooke Fraser singing Hosanna over and over again:

Tomorrow I plan to sleep in until at least 6am and then do whatever I want for the rest of the weekend :)

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Unconditional Love, yes. But unconditional respect?


A book review and a concept to ponder…

Okay, the truth is this is not really a book review per se, but definitely a concept to ponder from the book I’m currently reading. I know, I know I said I have the attention span of a flea… truth is it is VERY rare for me to read entire books. I’m more of a blog, newspaper, magazine-if-I’m-bored, rss feed kind of reader. But every so often it’s nice to curl up in bed and read something of the printed and bound variety.

I’m currently reading Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It’s based on the theory that what men and women actually need out of a marriage differs. Now, you might think, “Well, duh!” But the truth is, as humans, we generally try and offer people what it is we want from them, rather than offering them what they need. The result is that each can be left without the fulfillment they’re seeking and, thus, the painfully high divorce rate.

The foundation of Dr. Eggerichs’ theory comes from scripture:

Ephesians 5:33 states: “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

When I got married, I thought what we were doing was committing to living together because we loved each other. What I didn’t realise at the time, is that God’s plan for marriage involves more than that. Firstly, the commitment is not to exist in the same space with one another, but to act. The commitment is to act with love towards one another, whatever form that really needs to take and so I’ve recently decided to dive in to figuring out exactly what that means.

The Ephesians passage above is interesting. Notice it doesn’t say the wife is to love her husband. Huh. Men are commanded to love their wives as he loves himself! Wow. That’s quite a tall order. But women are commanded to respect their husbands.

The truth is, we women and society as a whole, really expect unconditional love from our husbands. We believe its our right… whether we get ugly or fat or don’t keep the house well enough, don’t earn enough money, don’t dress nicely or use enough wrinkle cream… we expect our husbands will love us no matter what. Unconditional, right?

Well what about the concept of unconditional respect?

Often we consider respect to be something a person earns by making right decisions, doing the right things, saying the right things. That’s how a person earns respect, right? It can’t just be given no matter what, right? Well, it would seem that’s exactly what this scripture is saying. In the same way that women are still worthy of love from their husbands no matter what they do or how they behave, our husbands are worthy of our respect for who they are as individuals whether we agree with all their decisions, actions or convictions or not.

It’s a great book and I would highly recommend it to anyone trying to figure out why their marriage isn’t exactly what they signed up for. It’s funny how more and more I find the words written in the bible just make sense when put into practice. Ironic?

Just a thought to ponder…

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God uses pornography

I know I said my blog is G rated, and it is… well, mostly. With exception of a couple of words I’ll keep it clean here. But I feel the need to share something that I found yesterday while innocently browsing audio podcasts on itunes. I was looking for marketing stuff and Christian stuff, semons etc. Then I saw something odd:

Do you see it? Let’s look closer…

There it is. Right there in the middle… yep, you can read: xxxchurch.com – #1 Christian Porn Site. Huh.

To say I was taken aback is a serious understatement. At first I was shocked, then I was trying to figure out how that is justified. I figured, yeah, there probably are people out there who have found a way (in their heads only, mind you) to justify the use of pornography as acceptable to God somehow. I don’t doubt that. God loves us all just the way we are right? God made us in His image and if we enjoy porn then God does too, right? Yeah… go ahead and believe that if you want. I finally decided just to move on despite wondering what on earth audio porn would be anyhow (ew); I tweeted about it and let it go.

It wasn’t until this morning that I actually started talking to big-man about it and we both got curious. I was really apprehensive about going to the site. It’s not that I’m a prude. Well, I guess I am a little, but it wasn’t always that way…

I didn’t make a decision for Jesus until I was 29 years old. I’d been in three long term relationships by then, lived with two partners, random encounters with others and have seen probably as much porn as the next person. I’m not saying this to glorify the sinful experiences of my past, but just to share that I’m not as crunchy as some of the Christians you might meet in your lifetime. But clicking on a site that would most definitely be offensive and could quite possibly challenge my beliefs was a bit of an uneasy proposition.

So this morning big-man and I decided to have a peek. It was like looking at something gross with one hand covering my face and fingers spreading open slowly, slowly to reveal whatever it was that was on the other side. What we found was one of the most raw, real ministry efforts we’ve ever seen. The site was created by a group of Christians looking to reach out to those people who use porn whether recreationally or addictively.

One of the most lofty goals they have is to open a church on the strip in Las Vegas. They have some compelling stats on the sex trade in Vegas to back up their reasons too. Sobering stuff. They’re even looking for missionaries to help with their efforts in las vegas. That would certainly be challenging – I have not received that calling, but perhaps you have?

Pornography and other sexual sin can ruin relationships. It eats away at the core of what God intended for sexuality. I don’t care if it’s pornography, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, beastiality, incest, voyeurism, pedophilia, homosexuality or withholding sex from your spouse (yep, that’s a sin too… are you guilty?), God calls it sin. Sin is sin, and you can be a Christian and fall to any of the above.

Just watch these confessions or check out any of the testimonials on this site for a glimpse into the lives of those who have suffered… like this one: Confesions of a beautiful, wonderful, interesting human being.

So yeah, God uses pornography. God uses porn like he uses any other struggle we face… to draw us to himself by showing us how much we need him; how broken we are; how far we are from how He intended humanity to live. Are you guilty?

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Anniversary Weekend

August 14th was our 4th wedding anniversary. We were married on the anniversary of our first date, 5 years earlier, so it’s really easy to remember yay! This year big-man surprised me with a lovely overnight away to the most unusual spot: The Silver Reef Casino just outside Bellingham, WA. I actually think it’s technically in Ferndale, but that doesn’t really matter. You might think that sounds like an odd plan, but for us it was perfect.

It was a simple plan: son at the mother-in-law’s, drive down Saturday morning, enjoy some spa treatments, a little gambling, a nice dinner and some more gambling and more spa treatments, and then back on Sunday. It was very well planned and I have to give props to big-man. He’s never been good at surprising me with anything. In 9 years he’s never managed to actually surprise me on my birthday, Christmas or our anniversary. This, at least, he had planned entirely up until about two weeks prior when he finally broke down and told me the plan haha… yeah, we’re still working on the *surprise* element of gift giving.

So here’s how it went…

We left our place about 8:00am Saturday. Given we’re up daily by 5am, that was no big deal. We had coffees in hand and a few things packed. It was a beautiful morning so we took off without the front panels on the Jeep (we have a hard top 4-door Jeep like this one where the top pieces just above the front seats come off independently from the rest of the hard top) and left them at home (more about that later).

Here’s how it looked coming in to Vancouver from the North Shore:

And this was me all excited taking a pic of myself – yep I’m a big dork:

We then proceeded to accidentally follow Granville all the way in to Richmond instead of switching over to Oak to get on to Hwy 99… oops! So we had a nice little tour of Richmond before we finally hit the last stretch to the border. At the border we hit the duty free for big-man’s necessities (read: booze & smokes) before we got to join the 90-minute queue of travellers trying to navigate their way to the U-S-of-A.

Anyway, after the 90 minute wait, lots of pee-pee breaks, the odd tweet and some good quality time, we were through the gates and on our way. We stopped for a quick breakfast at Jack In The Box and then arrived at the hotel at about 11am. Perfect timing.

Actually, the timing was good. They had our room ready even though check-in wasn’t until 4pm or something. We had an executive suite on the top floor so there was a little extra security – you had to have a key to a 6th floor room to get the elevator to go there. Big-man had even managed to get the hotel staff to pick up a bottle of sparkling wine he knew I’d like and a long stemmed rose and have them leave it, with a card he sneaked in to them, on the bed in our room. Nice touch.

Pardon the bottle of tequila. That was from the duty free. Newest favourite drink is Blue Agave Full Throttle with tequila *mmm*.

So 11:30am Saturday the first item on the agenda was a couples’ massage at the spa. It was good. The massage itself was good, anyway. The guy who was working on me started talking about how he divorced his wife for her putting her cold hands on him to warm up. A little inappropriate given it was our anniversary, but whatever. The Silver Reef is certainly not high end, despite what they’d like to think. At least the price isn’t high end either lol.

After the massage we shared our bottle of sparkly. That’s all I’m saying there…

Around 1:30 we went for some lunch at Panasia. The thing we started to notice about this ‘resort’ (and I must use the term lightly, it is actually a hotel and casino in the middle of a series of fields on a native reserve…) is that no one knows anything about anything that isn’t part of their job. The hostess knew nothing about the beverages offered, nor did she know anything about the voucher thing we got with our room key. All she knew how to do was seat people at the table. The server on the other hand, knew about the beverages and the voucher, but didn’t know what came with our food. We ordered a spicy duck dish that was supposed to come with little pancakes to roll it up in and she was very shocked that we would imply there should have been something else. No harm done. The food was okay. Not great; but okay.

After lunch I quickly threw $150 in the toilet. Well, I might as well have done so at the rate I lost it at the casino. At that point I wasn’t having much fun, but big-man was enjoying himself, so we stuck around. When he was up a little, he gave me another $100 which I promptly handed over to the 4-card poker dealer. My excuse is that I was training for Las Vegas when I go to Blogworld next month. Meh. Truth is, I was training my self control from that moment on. I draw the line at $250 without winning a single hand.

Big-man made up for my losses at the tables and we got all prettied up and went for dinner at the Steakhouse.

Big-man, having spent many years in the restaurant industry in both the front-of-house and the back-of-house, was excited about table-side food prep. We ate Caesar salad (prepared tableside), he had a pepper steak (prepared tableside) while I had a lobster bisque and, for dessert, we had bananas foster (you guessed it, prepared tableside). Big-man bitched about the wine service (his glass emptied twice without being refilled promptly or, better still, beforehand), but over all he’s just a tough cookie to please. I thought it was fine.

After dinner we returned to the casino where our final tally was me down $300 but big-man up $600. I took a photo of him rolling in the cash on the bed (which is pretty funny) but given he was in his underwear by that point, I figured I’d spare him. Some things are better left private. After deciding to quit while we were (collectively, anyway) ahead, we went for a swim and a hot tub before retiring to the room to watch the Olympic coverage on TV.

Sunday morning we got up and had some really bad coffee. Okay, admittedly I’m a coffee snob. We use a French press at home and use 5 heaping scoops of espresso roast for two mugs of coffee, so hotel coffee just can’t do it for me. Big-man had decided to have another massage Sunday morning given he’d enjoyed the first one so much. I, on the other hand, decided to drive in to Bellingham to look for some real coffee… a Starbucks perhaps?

It was then that I realised it was raining. Remember that nice weather I’d said we had? Remember how I said we’d gone with the tops off the Jeep? Remember how I said we’d left them at home?! Yeah. Nice. So I’m driving down I5 towards Bellingham in the rain, with my hood on, in search of the happy green circle. I finally spotted one Starbucks just as I was passing it with absolutely no hope of doubling back. I kept going to Bellis Fair… found a McDonald’s but that was definitely not what I wanted. So I decided to drive around some more…

I found the strangest thing: right beside Cost-Cutter was Christ The King Church. No joke. A big church in a mall… it was really weird. I’d planned to miss church that morning, being out of town and all, but then I felt compelled to drive right by the front door… 8:30am service. I checked the clock: it was 8:27am. Now I know when God is talking to me. “Don’t miss church. You soooooo need a little godly influence don’t ya thing?! You already threw away the money I provided for you playing stupid gambling games, don’t you think you ought to think about me just a little while you’re immersed in all things worldly? Besides, you’ll like it.” Yes God. I went in.

It was like violins started playing… as I walked though the door the first thing I saw was an espresso bar. Sweet. Then, I met a woman who works in the children’s ministry and gets espresso vouchers for doing so. She was happy I’d dropped in and gave me one. Score! Thanks again, God. I finally make my way in to the sanctuary, wondering if people were frowning upon my attire: yoga pants, a hoodie and flip flops (my usual any time I’m not at work), just in time to see the pastor come in… wearning flip flops. FTW!!

After the service I had just enough time to get back to the hotel, get changed and have a swim and a steam before my mani/pedi appointment at the spa – my final pampering of the weekend.

The drive home was quick; just 10 minutes at the border. We were home by just after 3pm sitting by the pool at the mother-in-law’s hanging with our mini-man, who we missed dearly.

It’s really important for us to take time away from the hectic pace of everyday life. This was a nice break. Thanks babe… I love you. Now if we can just focus on not killing each other before we do it again, that would be fantastic.

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For the love of motorbikes

I have to say, I wonder what percentage of new motorbikes purchased get sold to a second rider vs. those that get totalled. *hmmm*

So yesterday at 4:30, big-man calls me at work from his cell… he’s totalled his bike, but he’s okay. I’m his first call *BRILLIANT* lol! I leave work immediately and make my way to the Cypress Mountain lookout where he says he’s sitting at a picnic table and some nice passers by have given him a bottle of water… um, okay, thanks I suppose.

So I called for an ambulance on my way there – not sure if he did too, actually – by the time I got there we had two ambulances, a fire truck and the fantastic West Vancouver Corporal So-n-So, whose name escapes me – he’s the guy who drives up and down that road in a tinted out Charger trying to entice people to race and gives them a ticket as soon as they do…

So anyway, here’s what happened: big-man came down the hairpin turn at the Lookout and as he came around to the straight section in front of the parking lot, he hit some gravel that had been brushed into the road by a car that took the shortcut. The gravel took him into the grass where he figured he’d ride it out until he could get back on to the road, but didn’t realize there was a cement culvert hiding in the grass.

The front end of his bike shattered on impact, flipped him and the bike over in the air, and tumbled again (I think with him off the bike at this point), coming to a standstill as a broken heap in the grass. He walked away and proceeded to call me.

After 5 hours at LGH, the doctors couldn’t find a thing wrong with him… he’s sore, but alive and unscathed. He has a scratch on his forehead and some abraision on his thigh, but was wearing full leg armour, butt/thigh armour, reinforced leather jacket and a great helmet.

I believe God is not finished with him yet on this earth…

A Vision From God

Today I received a vision from God. I think it might well have been my first one. I’ve never felt God showing me something so clearly before.

I’ve had a really interesting week and think that I’m on the verge of something exciting that God wants to use me for… don’t ask me why. I was driving downtown yesterday and praying in my car. I found myself shocked and amazed and forever grateful that God could actually use a dirty, hopelessly broken vessel like me for anything. I mean, I sin all the time! Not a day goes by that I don’t feel the need to repent multiple times. There are plenty of days I don’t even think people would be able to tell I’m a Christian, yet I profess to be a spirit-filled disciple of Jesus. If Jesus is in me, what have I done with him?!

This morning as we were praying in preparation for worship, I received a very clear vision from God: It was a clay pot. A dirty, broken, old clay pot that looked like it might have been through an earthquake and a fire. It was full of holes and cracks, chipped around the edges and scratched all over. But out of those holes and cracks was a light. The whole area outside the pot was illuminated only because of the many cracks and holes. If that clay pot had not been broken at all, there would be no way for the light to shine through… and better, it was beat up beyond recognition allowing the entire area around it to receive that light rather than even just a ray or two.

I think God was trying to tell me that no matter my shortcomings, my sin, my weaknesses, my lack of skill or preparation for something… if it’s something He wants to do through me, He’s going to do it regardless. All I have to do is let His light shine. I think sometimes in this life we try and cover up all those cracks and holes with a veil. We don’t want people to see that we have weaknesses and sins and shortcomings. We don’t want people to know that we aren’t perfect. But in covering up all the holes and cracks we shut in the light in so it can’t be used to light the way for anyone else. Just a thought…

Long Weekend

Well, it’s a long weekend for me, anyway. I’m taking tomorrow off. I feel like it’s been too long since I last blogged, but honestly I typed on my mobile for half an hour the other night only to have the “publish post” button not do a single thing on my iris. I was so angry. I almost decided to give up on this blog altogether lol.

Anyway… now I find myself with far too much stuff in my head to even pick something to write coherently about. It’s all just ramblings of a crazy woman at this point. What’s the use? Tomorrow is a very exciting day. I can’t share the details with the world, but it’s something very interesting and maybe I’ll be blessed with a fantastic story to share when all is said and done.

This weekend I’m in the team leading worship at my church. I absolutely love it. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing than singing with this team of people. I absolutely love them, and I love singing praises to God. I am so grateful for everything I have in my life… my family and my home, my friends and my church, my job and some disposable income for extras… that is golden. Absolutely golden. Sometimes I think we can have a tendency to forget that not everyone has that. In the rat race to the top of the corporate ladder it’s really special when you find something you love doing with people around you that you love hanging out with every day. I’m really blessed to have that.

Anyway… life may be just about to take a very interesting turn. On that note, I’ll just share one of my favourite songs these days – “Remember Me” by Mark Schultz. Someone put a little slide show video to it… it’s nice.