Spilling the Beans

baby_5moI know, I know, you’re never supposed to blog about not blogging… you’re never supposed to apologize for not writing. But I have been completely unable to think about anything other than what’s been going on in my life for the past two months, so I’m finally spilling the beans.

My husband and I are expecting another addition to our family.

That, actually, is the reason for the decision to sell our home and figure out how to add another bedroom to our inventory. It’s also the reason why I haven’t written a thing – because every thought I have has to do with this new baby, my career, my home, my future, and where it’s all going to end up.

First things first: I’m 15 weeks along and doing well. I love being pregnant. I tend to be pretty healthy when I am – so far I haven’t been sick and the worst of my symptoms between this and my last pregnancy has been indigestion, fatigue and carpal tunnel (which comes later; I can already feel it coming on). I’m actually way more relaxed when I’m pregnant too – the hormones seem to agree with me and I take on a way more chilled out personality.

The bigger challenges have been keeping the secret off of Facebook – I told a few friends and my family but of course didn’t want my boss and co-workers finding out from Facebook. Not only because it’s poor form (I think, anyway) not to tell them personally, but because there are some personnel shifts going on and I had been trying to hold off while securing myself exactly what I want as a return-to-work option following my maternity leave.

I’m due January 1st, so I’ll be leaving work around Christmas time and I do plan to take a full year off. I kind of feel like I owe it to this baby to do so given that I’m entitled (thanks to our awesome maternity leave program in Canada) and I did with mini-man. That, however, is not ideal given the industry I’m in and the timing of the 2010 Winter Olympics but the good news is just about everything that needs to be planned will be planned by the time I leave… what will remain will be mostly execution.

Regardless, I couldn’t wait any longer to say anything; I’m suddenly beginning to grow out of most of my pants so I was beginning to develop a complex over everyone at work thinking I was just putting on weight. Yeah, I have some issues in that department.

So now with that out f the way, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief that the whole world now knows.

Life is going on as usual. Work is busy; I’ll be speaking as part of a panel on Social Media use for the resort industry for the virtual ResortXpo on July 16th. Then, the following week I’m taking the week off for my camping trip with a girlfriend to go and enjoy Creationfest Northwest at The Gorge, WA. I’m still involved in a few music groups – including a songwriting group I feel is expanding my circle of experience in this lifetime – and I am doing my best to stay active by running a couple of times a week.

All in all life is good. As usual, I’m excited to see what the future holds… I guess I’ll have to just ride it out and find out. In the meantime, I can look forward to becoming as big as a house once again.

The Battle of the Bulge

Hi, my name is Michelle, and I’m overweight. I can’t keep blaming on my pregnancy anymore; mini-man will be 3 in March. Photos from Mexico scared me… or is it scarred me?

Anyway… the time is now.

My Weight Loss Story

michelle-thinI put on weight from when I was about 8 or 9 years old when I was abused. And while that situation is long dealt with and forgiven, what remained was an insecurity and a compulsion that warped me just a little. I first joined Weight Watchers on the advice of my parents at the age of 12 when I weighed roughly 150 lbs at about 5’0″ to put a little perspective to it. That didn’t do a thing, though. I was 12 for goodness sake.

I never ended up doing anything about it until 2002, when I was 27 years old. I’m not sure what clicked, but I maxed out at 215 lbs and finally decided I was done with it. What followed was a full year of Weight Watchers, added to the running and kickboxing training I was already doing, resulting in a 60 lb weight loss.

Before Weight Watchers I was working out a lot – I did kickboxing at least 3-4 times a week and ran here and there, did some yoga, snowboarding in the winter… but I also ate. A lot, apparently. Too much, even for my high level of activity. What was really great about Weight Watchers was that it really taught me just how much food is normal. I seemed to have misplaced that perspective… or maybe never had it to begin with.

My Weight Gain Story

41wksI kept the weight off until I got pregnant in the summer of 2005. I started gaining weight right from the beginning of my pregnancy. I think (or maybe try and justify it?) it was from being really lean when I got pregnant; my body fat % was about 16-18% and for a woman that’s lean. Even at work people were speculating that at over 150 lbs I was anorexic. But by the time I was 3 months pregnant I’d already put on about 15 lbs. Then I had to quit kickboxing when I was 5 months because of the anaerobic nature of it – my doctor was concerned baby wasn’t getting enough oxygen.

So then I sat on my couch for 6 months. Probem is I kept eating the same.

I tried replacing my beloved sport with walking or water aerobics, but it just wasn’t the same. I never found that thing I liked enough. I weighed 232 lbs the morning I went to the hospital for my son’s birth; this is a pic I took that morning. That’s a total gain of nearly 70 lbs.

Anyone who has a baby will tell you it’s the fastest weight loss you’ll ever experience. I lost 25 lbs in 3 days… then another 10 within 2 weeks. And then nothing. WHAT?! So there I was left with an extra 35 lbs again.

And now, I find myself with a hair over 40 lbs I need to lose again.

My New Weight Loss Commitment

Now, I don’t have kickboxing to use anymore and have a 3 year old at home I have to be around for, so workout time is way more challenging to come by. My husband’s jobs are unpredictable and take him out of town sometimes for weeks at a time. But I’m determined to do it again. My head is in the right place now and I’m ready. And in the same way I recruited my friends on a Facebook Group to support my efforts to quit smoking, I’m going to use this public blog to prove my commitment.

Here’s my photo inspiration: My wedding day. If you’ve seen me lately, you know…

wedding_rg4

This time the plan is much more simple, and probably more challenging but I will make it work: Weight Watchers Online and my Wii Fit. That’s it.

Now watch me shrink.