“No. You can’t brush your teeth, I’ve already done it.”

I’m sorry… pardon?

Sometimes I hear myself as if I’m on the outside looking in and when I opened my mouth to speak it made so much more sense than it did once the words actually left my mouth.

Why on earth would I not want to encourage my son’s excitement about brushing his teeth himself? What would possess me to say no to a second helping of broccoli under any circumstances?

I sometimes have to take a step back as a parent and re-evaluate my reasons for saying no to everything. Every so often I feel like life has been an endless stream of barking and no’s without as much joy as parenthood is supposed to bring.

Usually those are the times when I’m focused on my own wants.

I can’t be bothered to clean up after letting a 3 year old get his own milk from a 4L jug. I don’t want to put all my stuff down just so I can pick him up to press the elevator button himself and then try and scoop my stuff back up before the door opens. I don’t always offer the grace to wait while he puts his own shoes on or the patience to wait while he looks for whatever toy he’s fixated on. There is no shortage of similar scenarios when parenting a pre-schooler.

I can see why he gets frustrated sometimes… it must be tough to have no control over your life.

Mom needs to loosen the reigns sometimes.

My husband and I both work full time. And sometimes we can find outselves with a lot of stuff that needs doing on the weekends. I admit we don’t get enough chores done during the week. I always have aspirations to do more but my hobbies and pet projects usually get my attention instead – I opt for a workout instead of tidying my kitchen or blogging instead of vaccuuming.

But what happens, is we end up with the lion’s share of chores needing doing on the weekend. It sometimes feels like we don’t have much time for fun.

Now, part of our challenge is that mini-man still naps, so we have a 2 hour chunk during the middle of each day where we can’t plan on being anywhere. But we’re not very good at using that time wisely either. I don’t know… maybe we’re just lazy. I find the running around shopping and errands of a Saturday morning lead me to want to chill out during that coveted noon naptime rather than, say, scrub my toilet bowl.

To keep the quality in our lives, we try and do one fun thing as a family each weekend, if only for a couple of hours. Sometimes we’ll go swimming, or we’ll go to a park, or an indoor play area when the weather’s bad. There’s storytime at the local library, or even just playing a round of Wii Bowling. I think it’s more important to spend time together than it is that your home is just so.

Having my son in daycare every day gets me down sometimes. He’s there 9 hours each day Monday through Friday, and sadly, we couldn’t live in the community we do – where I grew up and grew to love – if I quit my job to stay home with him… or my husband did. But sometimes I long for a simpler life.

Just yesterday I found myself wanting to pack up and move.

In the meantime, however, I remind myself of how blessed I am to have a good job in this current world, to live in a beautiful community in a great city, to be happily married with a beautiful son… to have a loving and helpful extended family. And while I do find myself longing for simpler days, I still hold out hope that one day I’ll find that beautiful place of balance.

Photo: lepiaf.geo on Flickr

Well, this week I am lounging in Cancun, and this post is all that’s left of me in the real world. I did, however, want to make sure that I share a funny while I’m away…

I got this email forward from my mother in law. I am not normally a fan of email forwards, but I did find this one really funny. As it’s a forward I don’t know where it came from, nor to I know who these images belong to. If they’re yours, I’m sorry. Let me know and I’ll link it up.

If they’re not yours… enjoy!

25 Interesting things you find out from boys

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words ‘uh oh’, it’s already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR’s do not eject ‘PB & J’ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin! , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Now it’s your turn to share

Do you have boys? Know boys? I’d love to add to this list with the funny things boys do and see some links to more pics!

Photo: david.bunting on Flickr

So, you may have already guessed. This photo is not of me. I know there is a resemblance and all, but no… I’m a little more… um, what’s the word… brunette.

I am in desperate need of a workout. When I say desperate, I mean I feel like I’m melting. I think I can feel the muscles turning into fat and the fat cells growing in size.

Big-man has been gone two weeks now and because of that, coupled with a few weeks of illness, work events etc. beforehand, I haven’t managed to work out once in about a month now. I’ve had to quit kickboxing for the time being and have not managed to fit in another activity.

The problem is complex but is really taxing my ability to feel like my life is in balance. Mostly because it’s not. I need to be more active than I am, and I absolutely need to find a way to make that happen.

I’m completely open to suggestions, but only ones that don’t include leaving my kid with a babysitter during his waking hours. See, he’s already in daycare 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. He sleeps 11 hours at night and, thus, is only awake 13… so subtract the 9… you can see where I’m going with this one.

I get up between 5 and 5:30 every day and have a cup of coffee and go online – check email, twitter and my feeds. At 6am mini-man is up and demanding my attention. I get him something to eat and let him watch TV while I get showered etc. Then I make lunches, get ready and leave for work by 8am.

At 5pm I leave work and pick up mini-man from daycare, get home by 5:30, give him dinner, play a little put him in the bath and put him in bed at 7pm. My after-7pm activities are dictated by the day of the week… Mondays is band, and Wednesdays is my church home group and those are the only two nights of the week I get free babysitting services from my amazing mother in law. If I want to leave the house after 7:30pm any other night of the week, I’ll need to pay a sitter to be home in my place for an hour or two… that would make each workout cost $10-$15 in babysitting alone. I suppose this isn’t a terrible option for maybe once a week – I could go for a run which wouldn’t add any other cost.

I’ve tried getting out with mini-man in the stroller after dinner, but there really isn’t time with only an hour and a half of awake time between daycare and bed. Besides, this weather means everything takes that much longer because we have that much more clothing to deal with. I’m also super afraid of trying to run while pushing 50 lbs. I run slow enough on my own thank you very much.

I may have to resort to the unthinkable: doing some kind of stupid-looking step-like workout video in my livingroom. Ick. I hate sweating where I live. Furthermore, being in a 2nd floor apartment means it has to include no jumping and I have to be able to do it in very little space; I have about 7′ x 7′ to work with. That doesn’t sound like much of a workout, but I guess anything would be better than nothing.

I can’t keep doing this. I need some exercise. I guess I’m off to find a DVD and a local babysitter.

Wish me luck! Maybe one day I’ll be hurling myself in the air for the spike and allowing someone to capture it forever.

Photo: YAXZONE on Flickr

Halloween is one of those things I’ve been thinking about disproportionately since even before my son was born. It’s one of those holidays/days/celebrations – not even really sure what to call it – that kids love and that the world seems to truly embrace. Honestly, when I was a kid I didn’t care about the history of it, the dangers of it, the distaste of it, the future of it, or the results from it. All I wanted was to go out with my friends (and before that, with my parents) and get a bag of candy.

Here’s a little detail on Halloween from Wikipedia:

The ancient Gaels believed that on October 31, now known as Halloween, the boundary between the alive and the deceased dissolved, and the dead become dangerous for the living by causing problems such as sickness or damaged crops. The festivals would frequently involve bonfires, into which bones of slaughtered livestock were thrown. Costumes and masks were also worn at the festivals in an attempt to mimic the evil spirits or placate them.

Now, I know there is a little Christian history thrown in there, but it’s really convoluted and comes, I believe, from the catholic leaders failure to hold fast to their beliefs and to the Word of God (but, pardon, that’s fodder for a whole other post).

Popes Gregory III and Gregory IV moved the old Christian feast of All Saints’ Day from May 13 (…) to November 1. (…) Although All Saints’ Day is now considered to occur one day after Halloween, the two holidays were, at that time, celebrated on the same day. Liturgically, the Church traditionally celebrated that day as the Vigil of All Saints, and, until 1970, a day of fasting as well. Like other vigils, it was celebrated on the previous day if it fell on a Sunday, although secular celebrations of the holiday remained on the 31st. The Vigil was suppressed in 1955, but was later restored in the post-Vatican II calendar.

As a Christian mom I fight with this entire principle and really don’t know how to proceed. With a small child, I’m setting the foundation now for years to come, so I don’t really want to get this wrong. But the truth is, I don’t like Halloween. I don’t want to participate. I don’t want my son participating. I don’t feel that Halloween has a single positive aspect or outcome. Not only that but as kids get older, Halloween is used more and more for mischief, occult practices and, quite frankly, an excuse to dress like a whore. It never ceases to amaze me that girls feel the need to make Halloween an occasion to bring that cat suit or naughty nurse costume out to the world. What is with that?! Just have a look at all the Flickr photos tagged halloween; I really don’t see a whole lot there I could even remotely consider glorifying to God.

However, I also know the feeling of being ostracized as a child and feeling the burden of being the outsider – it’s a very lonely place to be. I don’t want that for my son. Even last year, when he was precisely 19 months old, his daycare was having all the kids show up in costumes and handing out treats. REALLY?!

So here I am again, faced with the same challenge and I finally succumbed to the decision to buy him a costume. We went to the store yesterday and as soon as we got to the Halloween aisle he stopped and shuddered and said, “Scary!” But to my surprise and relief there was a little size 3 frog costume that is basically just a green jumpsuit with a frog face on the hood. Just 5 minutes earlier he had been pretending to be a frog in the store anyway, so that seemed just right. I also bought a little treat bucket and a bag of peanut-free coffee crisp bars for the daycare kids. At least now he can join in with the kids at daycare.

Some of my friends take a much stronger stance on this issue. I know quite a few families at my church refuse to have anything to do with it; they may even pull their children from school that day. I hear they also throw a family pool party or some other gathering to ensure their kids have something else to do that is fun and much more wholesome. I think that is a great alternative to participation in regular halloween activities and I hope we’ll be invited to participate.

But anyway, as for the daycare halloween party, I’ve made my decision. Now if only I can figure out how to handle the trick-or-treating issue…

So we stood watching from across the street for a little bit, hoping the trucks would make an appearance, but it turned out they weren’t going anywhere. But then there was a bunch of firefighters standing in one of the garage doorways (I think there are 4 of them in a row – the garage doors, not the firefighters)… anyway, I asked mini-man if he wanted to go and say hello. Of course he was excited and skipped and pranced down to the crosswalk while urging me to run to speed up the process.

I’m not sure if it’s just my local firefighters or emergency personnel everywhere, but the members of North Vancouver City Fire Department are some of the nicest guys anywhere. They were all super friendly and encouraging; they even suggested we go in one of the trucks and look around, which we did. The guy who showed us into the truck headed off somewhere saying he’d be back in a minute, and mini-man, being two, decided it wasn’t quite as cool as he’d thought it would be (new and strange environment and all) so we exited about as quickly as we’d entered.

As we were walking down the street I heard a whistle and turned around to see him running down the street with a little red fire helmet (or do you call it a hat?!) for mini-man… that was SO nice of him! Mini-man was super excited and very cute saying “Thank you so much!”

Now I know these guys have much better things to do than entertain me and my kid, but I’m grateful for that. It shows how caring they really are. So next time they’re hauling my husband out from behind our building after he falls off the balcony, or the next time they’re hacking up my balcony with an axe because my husband lit it on fire with a cigarette butt (yeah, both have happened in recent years), I’ll remember what a treat we had this one day. Thanks.

Here I thought I was going to be well ahead of the game with plans to get mini-man a drum kit for Christmas this year… he’ll be almost 3 by then. Maybe I should have got it last Christmas, I don’t know.

I’m amazed at how quickly kids pick stuff up if you only take the time to nurture their curiosities.

I think it’s dangerous to be too strict with parenting.