Photo: purplemattfish on Flickr

At least that’s what Jack Welch, Chief Executive for General Electric Co. would have us believe. I read an excerpt from this Wall Street Journal article today and while I’m not interested enough to subscribe for the full article, I did read through all the comments.

I don’t think Mr. Welch is all wrong. In fact, I think he has a very good point:

“There’s no such thing as work-life balance,” Mr. Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management’s annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. “There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”

In the commenting there was a lot of talk of sacrifices… sacrificing career for children and sacrificing family for career. But the thing that struck me most is the underlying tone that defines career success as more important or more valuable than family success i.e. devoting the time necessary to raising a healthy and happy family.

An entry level corporate job begins with 40 hours a week and increases from there. At the top of the ladder the execs are often putting in so much time that they’ve lost the ability to ever NOT think of their work… and honestly I don’t think it’s healthy.

Photo: Corie Howell on Flickr

We’re told we need to get 8 hours of sleep per night for optimum health; we’re told we need to eat a balanced diet and exercise a minimum of 30 minutes per day (some will say 60 minutes); we need to keep ourselves adequately bathed and groomed which, for me at least takes about 30-45 minutes per day… when you put just those things alone together that adds up to about 10 hours out of 24… then you add a commute of, say, another hour round trip (add another 30 minutes if you have a daycare drop-off and pick-up on the way to and from work) and you’re down to 12 and a half remaining hours in a day.

Now if you’re like me and you work a fairly normal 8 1/2 hour day in the office, you’re down to 4 hours left… 4 hours per day left to sort through the mail, and pick up the drycleaning, and stop by the bank, call to make a dental appointment, prepare dinner, clean the kitchen, maybe read a little before bed… and I haven’t even started talking about a spouse or kids.

When exactly would they get any time?

Photo: 3Liz4 on Flickr

When I went back to work after my son was born I was mortified when I realized the schedule he was on had him waking up at about 6:30am and going to sleep for the night about 6:30pm. My work schedule made it so that we left the house at 8:00am and arrived home at 5:30pm… and that’s if I insisted on walking out the door at 5pm no matter what is happening.

I still only got 2 1/2 hours per day to interact with my only child. Someone else got the other 9 while I was at work.

I sometimes wonder what drives the C-Suite. I don’t think I have it. I mean, I’m pretty driven and I’ve never set a goal I didn’t reach without a good reason or a learning experience involved. I’m educated and intelligent and I have a good job; our household income is comfortably above average for where we live. But I have every intention of continuing to contribute my family’s income because where I live it’s not really an option not to. That’s my sacrifice, I guess… my family gets to live in what I consider to be one of the best places in the world but we need two incomes to make it work.

I know I’d be farther along in my career if I was more aggressive with my goals and just sucked it up and did it the way I’m “supposed” to… but I have too many life aspirations for that. I have too many interests and hobbies and other things I enjoy in life that I couldn’t dedicate my entire life to the pursuit of money and back pats from people whose families are falling apart all around them. When I sit down and think about the things I couldn’t live without in this life – the things I feel like I was made to be and do – none of them is my job… and I love my job!

I work hard. I play hard. When I’m in the office I’m working hard; as I’ve said, I love what I do. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I do with my morning coffee is check my email and deal with anything urgent. From the time I arrive in the office to the time I leave at 5pm I work hard and if need be I’ll work hard after my son has gone to bed at night, but between 5pm and 7:30pm is my time with my family. Every day. I mean, I think I owe them that at the very least.

Photo: richiedogg1981

This post alone is enough to get me passed over for an interview with some companies. It would absolutely take me off the short list for a corner office. But that’s my life choice. I value the quality time I do have, no matter how scarce, that I can’t imagine having less time than that… nor would I want to.

Why we define ourselves by how much money we make and how many people work under us is beyond me. Perhaps it’s peoples’ lack of self-worth that drives them towards needing the approval of others. Perhaps it’s because people are just greedy… but maybe, just maybe, it comes from millions of people looking for the love and approval they should have gotten from their parents but didn’t because they were too busy working.

Just saying…

Photo: Spartan Soldier on Flickr

I just read a post by Darren Rowse over at ProBlogger that had my skin crawling and made me feel very uncomfortable. Darren put into words that which I have never had the nerve to say in either spoken word or type. He described me as he spoke of the early hours of Sunday morning:

“…you wander over to your computer, check your blog for comments, check your subscriber and traffic stats and maybe crank out a quick post or video. Then, you jump on twitter to check your timeline, follower numbers and reply to any @’s or dm’s.

A few minutes later, the kids wander out and your day really begins. Breakfast, then the day’s activities. It’s all great fun, yet, you still find yourself reveling in those random moments in the rest-room, where you linger a few extra seconds to check your e-mail, IM, twitter and stats once more on your trusty iPhone.” [Bloggers Without Boundaries]

Well. Ouch.

I find myself looking inwardly and feeling convinced of two things: 1) That I’m abiding in the gratification I get from engaging with a huge group of people on a regular basis and 2) that Darren might just have a hidden camera in my bathroom. Both are equal cause for concern.

The Sermon That Hit Home

This morning I was listening to a fantastic sermon that I am going to transcribe – as soon as I have enough time in the bathroom I guess – and put here. It was really impactful and it confirmed everything I’ve been thinking, fearing and worrying about: this imbalance and loss of boundary between work and play.

Today’s sermon was on The Secret of Soul Rest, based in Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [ESV from bible.com]

… and John 15:5 (well, I’m adding verse 4 here too)

⁴ Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. ⁵I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
[ESV from bible.com]

The thing that my pastor kept nailing home for me was that if you’re not abiding in Jesus, you’re abiding in something else. There is no other way. You live somewhere. You benefit from something. You gain from something… what are you benefiting from? Where are you putting your focus? Your energy? Your love? And how’s that working for you?

We numb our fears, our discontentment, the unfulfilled parts of ourselves with addictions… “other lovers” as my pastor put it. True. The list of addictions is so long… drink, food, drugs, sex, sports, porn, perfectionism, money, status, position, blog subscribers or twitter followers, studying, church, ministry even. Getting our sense of wellbeing, no matter how temporary or false, from the wrong stuff. Getting our egos stroked somewhere… most of which is unhealthy and causes unnecessary anxiety or busy-ness in our lives. All things that do not glorify God.

It pains me to think I’ll lose blog subscribers for even writing this.

Photo: parl on Flickr

I think about all the plans I have regarding my blog, my writing, my ability to market myself as a consultant or contractor and my reasons for doing so… and the reason is good: by the time my son starts school, I want to be 100% self-employed and working only during school hours or after my son is asleep at night while earning enough money to support my family. But in the meantime, my drive for this is taking away from my relationships with my family… it’s taking away from my relationship with God.

I’ve been abiding in the wrong stuff.

I’m not sure what this means for the future of my blog. I’m not sure what this means for my pet project: Urban Shore. I’m not sure what this means for the other projects I’ve been offered ‘on the side’ because I’ve come to realise there is no ‘side’; there are only 24 hours to every day.

God is right now bringing me to a place where I have to accept that I’m not in control of any of it. I’m in a place where all I can do is get on my face and pray… because I have no idea what the future holds. I’m not sure how life may change in the days and weeks ahead and honestly, I’m really at a place where I’m open to anything…

What I do know, though, is wherever I end up, I want to abide in my faith. I want to abide in the Love of God. I want to abide in the Word. That’s where the soul rest is.

Everything else is noise.

Photo: mccun934 on Flickr

Let’s talk about remote offices for a moment…

Telecommuting, e-commuting, e-work, telework, working at home (WAH), or working from home (WFH) is a work arrangement in which employees enjoy flexibility in working location and hours. In other words, the daily commute to a central place of work is replaced by telecommunication links. Many work from home, while others, occasionally also referred to as nomad workers or web commuters utilize mobile telecommunications technology to work from coffee shops or myriad other locations. [Wikipedia]

I’d like to discuss some common arguments relating to telecommuting or the use of remote offices as a viable option for corporate employees:

Pros of telecommuting for the employee

• The ability to set one’s own hours
• Cost savings from an eliminated commute
• Time savings from an eliminated commute
• A lesser need for appropriate wardrobe
• Easy access to lunch

Pros of telecommuting for the company

• Reduced space requirements
• Reduced costs from lower energy needs
• Reduced sick days as people are not spreading germs to one-another
• Reduced environmental impact from eliminated commute
• May reduce the instances of job-hopping by employees

Cons of telecommuting for the employee

• Disconnection from colleagues and the social element of work
• Communication can be more challenged as body language can’t be considered
• May reduce business perspective if removed from the core business activity
• Home environment can be distracting

Cons of telecommuting for the company

• Loss of direct and immediate contact with the employee
• Remote offices don’t promote response to immediacy or last-minute needs

Telecommuting requires a shift in mindset

Photo: esperales on Flickr

I think managers and company executives, particularly from the older Gen X crowd and Baby Boomers, are afraid of telecommuting. At least that’s my experience. I suspect there is a lot of fear that employees will sit at home, play a little Xbox, check their email, watch some TV, have some lunch, make a call or two, type a little bit of that report due next week and then call it a day at 3pm. Despite the numerous case studies that outline some really positive experiences with employee telecommuting – even older ones such as this paper outlining AT&T’s 5 year study of 600 telecommuters – implementation of telecommuting or creation of remote offices as a regular and accepted way of performing one’s duties requires a whole new method of management and a whole new definition of success.

The days of the 40 hour work week are gone.

With today’s highly effective and super simple communication tools we exist in a world that is plugged in 24/7. It’s not possible to just leave your job at the office anymore – not if you work in a white collar or management capacity. It is no longer acceptable to show up at your place of employment, be physically present, move some stuff around, have some conversations and leave without producing.

We’re already in remote offices. They just happen to be in the same building.

We’re emailing the people sitting next to us. We’re phoning those in the next office. If we want to sit and waste time doing nothing we can just hang out on Second Life or MySpace from the comfort of our cubicles; we don’t need to leave the vicinity. How many companies are having regular meetings anymore?

With digital files and internet-based tools, Google docs, Skype, netbooks and laptops, iPhones and our printer/scanner/copier all-in-one’s there is very little need to be physically present to get a job done.

I know I start my day sipping coffee on my couch with my 2 year old while reading my feeds on my mobile device, then I check my work email for urgent matters, go to work, work a regular work day, go home have dinner with my family, check my email, moderate the company blogs, go out for the evening, come home, check my email…

Most jobs nowadays are so specialized, the person doing that job is the only one who can. When productivity increases, so does the expectation. We are doing so much more with fewer people than we were just 10 years ago, that we have no choice but to conduct business outside of traditional working hours.

As I said: We’re already working remotely. For many of us, that’s on our ‘off’ time, whatever that is.

A few crucial elements required for effective telecommuting on a regular basis:

• The right equipment: The right computer, accessories and software for the job
• A dedicated space to work: We still need to be organized somewhere even if we move around from there
• A set of clearly defined and measurable objectives: We need to understand what’s expected of us

Here are my own thoughts on telecommuting:

• I would telecommute at least part time if my company were supportive
• I would enjoy working in my comfiest of clothes (though I’m not known to wear suits anyway)
• I would absolutely need a more appropriate working space at home
• I would have to keep my son going to daycare because I couldn’t work with him there
• I might save money by having my car insurance set to ‘pleasure use only’
• I would save gas money
• I would have a little more time with my family

It all comes down to setting the right expectations and then trusting your employees to accomplish what they’re tasked to do.

What do you think? What are your pros and cons of remote offices? Would you work from home if you could? What would be your biggest challenge?

Photo: david.bunting on Flickr

So, you may have already guessed. This photo is not of me. I know there is a resemblance and all, but no… I’m a little more… um, what’s the word… brunette.

I am in desperate need of a workout. When I say desperate, I mean I feel like I’m melting. I think I can feel the muscles turning into fat and the fat cells growing in size.

Big-man has been gone two weeks now and because of that, coupled with a few weeks of illness, work events etc. beforehand, I haven’t managed to work out once in about a month now. I’ve had to quit kickboxing for the time being and have not managed to fit in another activity.

The problem is complex but is really taxing my ability to feel like my life is in balance. Mostly because it’s not. I need to be more active than I am, and I absolutely need to find a way to make that happen.

I’m completely open to suggestions, but only ones that don’t include leaving my kid with a babysitter during his waking hours. See, he’s already in daycare 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. He sleeps 11 hours at night and, thus, is only awake 13… so subtract the 9… you can see where I’m going with this one.

I get up between 5 and 5:30 every day and have a cup of coffee and go online – check email, twitter and my feeds. At 6am mini-man is up and demanding my attention. I get him something to eat and let him watch TV while I get showered etc. Then I make lunches, get ready and leave for work by 8am.

At 5pm I leave work and pick up mini-man from daycare, get home by 5:30, give him dinner, play a little put him in the bath and put him in bed at 7pm. My after-7pm activities are dictated by the day of the week… Mondays is band, and Wednesdays is my church home group and those are the only two nights of the week I get free babysitting services from my amazing mother in law. If I want to leave the house after 7:30pm any other night of the week, I’ll need to pay a sitter to be home in my place for an hour or two… that would make each workout cost $10-$15 in babysitting alone. I suppose this isn’t a terrible option for maybe once a week – I could go for a run which wouldn’t add any other cost.

I’ve tried getting out with mini-man in the stroller after dinner, but there really isn’t time with only an hour and a half of awake time between daycare and bed. Besides, this weather means everything takes that much longer because we have that much more clothing to deal with. I’m also super afraid of trying to run while pushing 50 lbs. I run slow enough on my own thank you very much.

I may have to resort to the unthinkable: doing some kind of stupid-looking step-like workout video in my livingroom. Ick. I hate sweating where I live. Furthermore, being in a 2nd floor apartment means it has to include no jumping and I have to be able to do it in very little space; I have about 7′ x 7′ to work with. That doesn’t sound like much of a workout, but I guess anything would be better than nothing.

I can’t keep doing this. I need some exercise. I guess I’m off to find a DVD and a local babysitter.

Wish me luck! Maybe one day I’ll be hurling myself in the air for the spike and allowing someone to capture it forever.

I got a call from the daycare on Tuesday noon-ish that mini-man had woken up with a fever of nearly 107 degrees. I immediately packed up in the middle of lunch with a friend, threw my laptop in my bag and ran out of the office. I took mini-man to the emergency room only to be told it’s probably a viral infection and to just give Tylenol until it goes away. Other than the fever, he seemed perfectly normal… not even a runny nose. Anyway, by Wednesday morning the fever had broken and he seemed almost back to normal. I tried working from home that day as best I could, but eventually had to get out in the afternoon if only for a walk to the pharmacy and a stop by the little playground near our home.

Working from home with a 2 year old is next to impossible. I think all those people out there who do this regularly either have a nanny in the house or they’re not getting a lot done. Every two minutes it’s “Look! Mommy look!” Or, “I need help!” And, yes, everything is an exclamation. All I can really get done is look through my email, send a few files here and there as people request, and delegate a good deal. Microsoft Outlook Web Access is awful and times out every 10 minutes or so it seems; it doesn’t allow me to open an attachment without saving it first to my local machine and then opening it from there, which adds time to everything I do. Furthermore, half my working files are actually sitting on my network at work, so I can’t access all the things I usually can.

I really have a hard time with this. I really take pride in being very good at my job, so when I can’t do it to the best of my abilities, I get really down. To make matters worse, I have some kind of deep seeded issue which makes me want approval from everyone around me, so God forbid I let anyone down. You might as well tie bricks to my feet and throw me off a bridge. Incidentally that’s the same reason I do all sports alone… I hate the possibility that I might slow anyone down, so I just do what I do by myself. So being out of the office is hard. I know it puts extra pressure on the other members of my team – both above and below me. Being a perfectionist doesn’t help either. In many ways it’s what makes me good at my job, but it also will likely send me to an early grave.

When my head starts spinning about how ineffective I am in my job while taking care of the most important blessing in my life, I start questioning my worth as a mother. Why do I worry so much about work… shouldn’t my head be on this little man I’m tasked with raising – teaching to be a human being? What am I teaching him? Am I teaching him that work is more important than family? Am I teaching him that a person is supposed to spend all day in front of the computer or the TV? Am I teaching him that he’s not important enough?

When push comes to shove, my family is more important than my job. There, I said it. If you were considering asking me to work for you but you changed your mind when you read that, fine by me. I really do strive to find a balance in my life… balance between solo time, family time and work time. I need time where my family gets my undivided attention. I need time to hang with friends and time to exercise and play music. I need time to live my life and time to share it with others. As it is this week I ended up skipping my measly two workouts I usually fit in so that I could spend additional time working when big-man came home to occupy mini-man, but I can’t and won’t dedicate my life to a cubicle.

Now mini-man isn’t cleared to return to daycare until Monday, so we’re making the most of it…

Yeah, he looks real sick to me.

I’d love to hear how other people are achieving this somewhat elusive work-life balance I keep hearing about… especially working moms. How do you do it?

When I do nothing I feel like I’m wasting my life, but when I’m busy I feel like I’m missing my life. Am I crazy? … Really. Is this what it’s like to be rubber-room, straight jacket crazy? Am I ruining my kid with my neuroses? I’m busy all the time, but when I’m not busy I find something to do that means absolutely nothing yet takes up loads of time. I’m supposed to call my sister tonight, but haven’t done it yet, I’m getting tired (it’s only 8:15?!) and I’m thinking of just curling up in bed with a book knowing full well I’ll read a paragraph and nod off.

I feel like I’ve finally (after only 2 years lol) figured out how to be a mom, but now I have to figure out how to be me again. Where am I? Who am I?

Well, as a random share, here’s a picture from where I work. My band played on the mountain on Saturday… it definitely doesn’t suck to be me, despite the whining…

I think I spend too much time online. So I thought I’d strike a balance in my life by starting a blog. Yeah… that makes sense. I’d better get back to work…