Web Conversation Etiquette and Direct Messages

Photo: David Boyle on Flickr

It seems that Robert Scoble aka @scobleizer decided to post a message this morning reiterating that he hates direct messages in twitter (DMs). This is not news; somehow it’s a well-known internet fact. A new post ensued: Ten Reasons Why Twitter Direct Messages Suck (And so do Facebook’s).

Side note about the power of social media: Immediately following the twitter exchange, “DMs” and “DM’s” made it to #3 and #6 on Twitter Search

This got me thinking about general web conversation etiquette.

I’ve read a number of blogs about twitter etiquette – including ones that seem to have missed the mark, perhaps (judging by the comment backlash) – the twitter 10 commandments (though I disagree with #9 – please take your “thank you new followers” tweets to a DM!), blog etiquette, and spent copius amounts of time following people like Chris Brogan and Gary Vaynerchuk who are serious advocates for returning every email, @message, blog comment, DM and the like. I completely understand the value in ensuring that comments people put out there are encouraged and continue to carry the conversation.

I have, at times, felt like the person who ends the conversation… it was like this when I was a teen, too (there’s likely some kind of deep issue here; I’ll be sure to bring it up in therapy some day). I would say something and everyone would stop talking. Awkward silence.

So the point of responding to emails, DM’s, Facebook messages and blog comments (especially when you’re a new blogger only getting a handful fo comments anyway) is clear: don’t leave an awkward silence in your online conversation. Thank people for their insight, or even just for visiting your blog. Someone has taken the time to say something to you – would you just simply look at them and receive that message then walk away in real life?

I sure hope not. Even those important enough to be jerks would do well to curb that instinct.

Sometimes I do have a giggle while wondering where to stop? If you’re not careful, you could go back and forth with people spouting random pleasantries just so you can say you’ve answered every one – sort of like a few conversations I’ve had at conventions or trade shows (you know the ones).

Sometimes I find I just don’t have anything interesting to say. What do you do then? The funniest response I saw to this question came from Marc Meyer’s comment on Chris Brogan’s Be Sexier In Person:

When I have nothing else to say, I just say, “that’s all I got”. And the conversation ends right there, no harm no foul.. and we’re all satisfied, and we walk away.

And on that note… that’s all I got.